I joined this miserable site because I was told it would be the perfect place to post my plans to pulverize those plumbers once and for all. Apparently, most of my minions have accounts here. I don't see why my old place at Myspace wasn't dastardly enough. Hmph. I don't see what's so great about this place. It doesn't even have any lava pits!
Well, since that pudgy pipsqueak Mario destroyed my previous super-secret plotting fortress of nastiness, I suppose I'll rough it until the Hammer bros. finish constructing my next one. Keep your beady eyes peeled, minions! Your king will soon be posting his next dastardly plan! Bwahahaha!
Scram, blue man. I'm a busy reptile, and I don't need punks like you drawing attention to me. Gwarrr... This place is just full of busybodies too nosy for their own good. Why is it that when I want to have some real fun stompin' and scorchin', all you freaks run like the little insects you are, but the moment I try to be sneaky, you're comin' outta the woodwork?
I have recently procured for myself a web-cam and a microphone as your evilness ordered. I will soon be piecing together the clips our Lakitu photographers have taken for us, and all I need from you is the general outline of the plan, so that I can deliver your message to the troopas. Did you want me to submit the communique under my name, so that it will be less prominently displayed for your enemies?
What's with that dopey getup, Kamek? Are you makin' fun of me? I oughta roast your hide until that silly thing gets scorched onto your wrinkled skin!
And no, don't you go taking credit for my evil genius! I'll submit it myself when I've finished putting it all together. You leave the "piecing together" to me. I can't trust you not to muck it up like the last evil plan I concocted.
Now bring me a cup of cocoa and my teddy bear! And don't you dare let anyone see you do it!
Wh-why no, your evilness; I'm not making fun of you at all! It's just that... well, I thought we agreed that we would try to keep a low profile here. After all, the Mario brothers are likely to show up in such a place from time to time, and they know my face, you see.
I was rather hoping you might adopt a disguise as well, your rottenness, but of course, it was entirely up to you to make such a choice. I'm but your humble servant, and I live to obey you. ^^:
Very well, King Bowser. I will send you the files as you requested. Er... do you have any questions for me about them? Have you ever compiled a communique before? It is a bit more complicated than our previous methods, and the tech koops say that Flash animations might take more time than the old way too. They are willing and able to give your royal evilness a hand if you find the work too tedious and unimportant for someone so crucial to our cause.
I'll get you a nice, hot mug with marshmallows just as you like it, and then I'll bring you Mr. Fluffums. Long live the great King Bowser!
So it seems that one of the admirers that I keep hearing about felt compelled to come see the real thing. What a surprise.
"King Koopa," eh? Not bad for a deluded, reckless fanboy. That's the name those dark-haired mammals in Japan call me, and it's the first name your kind ever knew me as. Your account is the first place that plunger-head is going to look! Gwahaha! Just keep up the act, and I might consider recruiting you into the awesomely evil koopa ranks somewhere, provided you don't rat me out to those no-good, do-goooding, goody-two-shoes Marios!
You've got good taste, "King Koopa," and you've got guts barging into my fortress and bellowing at me (if you could call that proper bellowing). You're so loaded with guts I'm surprised you're not popping out of that devilishly handsome icon of yours. Just to let you in on a little secret, though:
I hate guts! That porky plumber has plenty, and when I squash him like the little gnat that he is, they'll make a nice big mess all over my dungeon floor! Stay out of my way, and the same won't happen to you. Good taste or not, you're still trespassing in my domain, and if there's one thing I enjoy, it's finding creative, roasting, toasting, and evil ways to deal with trespassers!
What're you lookin' at? You think I'm standing here for you to gawk at, mammal punk? Either take a hike or find out first-hand what happens to your scaleless skin when I turn up the heat with a few fire breaths!
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